On the Power of a Woman's Anger
I’ve been thinking about how anger is wild, complex, and useful, but misjudged and too often perceived as a bad emotion. For a long time, I didn’t have a positive relationship with anger. But, in recent years, that relationship has evolved to something a little richer. I’ve come to believe anger is actually one of the most beautiful and powerful emotions women especially experience, and I feel like it’s such an overlooked and untapped resource.
When I think about how anger feels in my body, the amount of heat it radiates is insane. It’s like a chaotic blaze of relentless fury; a feral fuel. It’s such an intense and visceral experience that I’m stunned I have endless access to something so potent and raw. And I think because of its power, anger is an energy often misused in ways that are harmful rather than helpful. That’s such a waste. It doesn’t need to be destructive. I have greater ambitions for my anger. It can serve a purpose.
That’s why I wish more women would embrace their anger, instead of feeling guilt, or shame over it, or pretending they don’t feel it, or comparing themselves to people who suppress their anger, and then feel crazy or less than for feeling it, and then suppress it, too. That energy shouldn’t be blocked, it should be tuned into, amplified, unleashed, and channeled into things that matter, things you care about, all that is meaningful.
And the courageous thing to do is to accept and acknowledge your emotions, anger included. And to allow yourself to feel it fully is to honor it, to honor your own humanity, and I think to honor your depths and potential. It also means honoring all that is wild within you. To possess something so wild might seem scary. But, it exists inside you whether you learn to love it or not. Possession of such power is your reality. And I think anything or anyone that makes you feel bad for that is doing you a disservice. People should ignite your fire, not try and put it out.
Sometimes, I imagine the robust creative prowess more women could have if they just took advantage of all the rage they hide and shove away. To have access to a bountiful fire inside you and not wield it is a monumental mistake. It would be transformational if anger could be seen for what it is: primal, powerful, and beautiful.
Leave me feedback, thoughts, questions, whatever, etc.
These daily posts aren’t polished essays, but an experiment in taking one thing that’s lingering with me and publicly executing on trying to develop and articulate my thinking about it, especially when my thoughts are incomplete.
I think of everything on my entire Substack as something I can come back to and iterate & expand on later, including these posts! So, if anyone leaves a comment that sparks anything for me, I’ll consider exploring it further sometime. Here’s a link to a Google doc. of the above post:
→ Right Here!!←
If you have any specific thoughts that came up for you while reading, feel free to just jump in the doc. and leave comments on those moments, or all over throughout; leave thoughts on whatever you want, and ask questions, or share reactions to specific things. What stands out? What are you curious to know more about?
— Sandra