Welcome to Sunday Candy! This is a biweekly newsletter sprinkled with whatever I feel like sharing with you.
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Vignette: The Vastness of Everything ✨
The frothy waves glistened under the infinite darkness. Laying in the grass, near the edge of the cliffs, we gazed up at the shimmering night sky.
We talked quietly. With only the ocean as our soundtrack, we immersed ourselves in the tunes of her roars and crashes. Her calm and her chaos.
Side by side, we took turns asking each other questions, thinking out loud about our impending futures, and making sacred confessions at the altar of the moon and the stars.
Stoned and softened by the giddiness of our laughter, our armor fell. And blanketed by the warmth, safety, and the peculiar preciousness of friendship, I felt tethered to the present.
I can still remember the enchantment from breathing in the vastness of everything all around me and the vastness of not knowing what was coming for us next.
Serenely swept up in mystery and possibility. Surrendered. Secretly, I wondered if I would ever feel that young again.
Looking back, this was one of the last times I remember feeling deeply okay.
Journal Reflection: Showing Up Fully
This past week, I skimmed through one of my journals from last fall. And I came across something I wrote that stood out to me.
“I think I want to be the person that fully shows up. Afraid, but still fully shows up. Because fear is part of me, but it’s not who I am. But it is part of my experience. It’s okay to bring that to the table.”
I don’t remember writing this, but it made me smile and tear up. It still rings true. I think a lot about the importance and responsibility to show up in my entirety. To bring my whole self to whatever spaces I occupy or whoever I’m with. To move in the world with my full humanity.
It’s beautiful and it’s terrifying. There’s so much I don’t want people to see. But if I were to hide, then nobody would get to know or experience the depths of me. The lightness and darkness and all the nuances in between.
And when I think about others, I want nothing more than to be immersed in their wholeness. To experience all they bring to the table. Because what could be more delicious and fulfilling than to soak in another’s full humanity?
But we live in a world so guarded. And our guardedness only pushes us farther away from each other and ourselves. I don’t want that for me.
Discovering this journal entry made me realize I’ve actually made a lot of growth and progress over the year in regard to this. I do show up much more fully than I used to. And that’s not easy. I overlooked that. I think I overlook a lot of things about myself.
So today I’m celebrating my growth, progress, and any efforts I’ve made.
I hope you take time to do the same.
🎶Playlist: In The Quietest Moments🎶
This week, I’m sending you off with a short playlist. Just a few songs I’ve plucked from what I’ve been listening to over the weekend.
Not included: Coldplay’s The Scientist, which I decidedly listened to on repeat for longer than is probably healthy. The nostalgia is in full force, friend. And you can bet many, many, sad bangers have been making their way back to me this season.
Anyway, hear anything you like? Let me know. Have recommendations for something I might like? PLEASE, send them my way.
That’s all for issue #18 of Sunday Candy!
Until next time.
Stay tender,
Sandra
If you’ve made it this far, don’t be shy.
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LOVE! I'm amazed by how you can write so vividly with so few words. Also love this: "Because what could be more delicious and fulfilling than to soak in another’s full humanity?" This is such a wonderful feeling!
This issue is so beautifully written. You moved me to pause and reflect, to sit with the calmness of the moment. I constantly feel like I'm caught in the current, being pulled back into the chaotic, rough waves of life. <3
Alllllll the tenderness radiating off this piece. I always can't wait for what you have to share <3