"Sometimes a solitary ease & comfort can quickly lead to a dance around the edges of self-isolation." Love this stream of consciousness and reflection, Sandra. I've experienced this and learned that I have to push myself to seek moments of company.
...i mean are you telling me that all these years trying to build a tiny diorama i would be able to shrink and live inside of in the year 2044 is purely a pipe dream!...and more specifically my other pipe dream to expand my diorama to include pipe slides for a personal water park is all for naught!...how am I going to ride a hamster like a bronco if not for this daydream!...
Was literally listening to a podcast this morning (in public, out in the park... though with a friend painting together and maybe that's the non-lonely part of it?) and it's an episode from Beautiful/Anonymous called "Secret Internet Relationship" about how this guy just lived in his own internet world and kinda forgot that people IRL exist and the host of the podcast lost it a lil bit with the dude being like PEOPLE ARE REAL THEY ARE OUT THERE. and yeah I do feel like it's so comfortable to live in my own lil private world but that it doesn't always have to be this way / shouldn't be this way too.
also - "how many of those heads floating above blue light screens around me were in an undercurrent of loneliness" MMMMMH chef's kiss for wording
The typewriting had such a cozy human touch to it and your musings were equally beautiful. A while ago I encountered in a philosophy book the idea of everyone's existence and ability to connect with others is like speaking a language that we can never be fully sure that anyone else truly understands. e.g., The idea that the very words that I'm typing now convey an infinitely specific meaning for me and that I can only hope carries that specificity onward when another reads it. As I read your musings about what living might be like for the lonely, I was reminded of this, and it helped me feel a bit more curious about these kinds of people rather than a feeling that leaned a bit more sad.
<3 to this typewriting and all the little text quirks that come with using a typewriter.
Sometimes my only daily social interaction is this non-interaction at the coffee shop lol. I like working in the chatter, it allows me to be among people without the energy expenditure.
I recently came across again with the "neologism" (or made-up word) of Sonder, which definition is: "The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it."
I view your essay as an amazing free-flowing, deep-dive on it with an emphasis on loneliness, which is sad when the person is trying to reach out and not connecting, but ok when it is wanted and more like enjoyed solitude. Don't have answers as to how to remedy the former, but definitely think, like you, that writing about it and articulating it will help, as would reaching out uncomfortably when there's a want in decreasing that loneliness.
Loved both all the imperfections in the execution of writing, making it more human, and also the stream of consciousness style, your thinking out quietly really streams and flows very well!
“…It’s a kind of space that offers you to be on your own but not alone; it’s on the threshold of solitude and connectedness, an easy way to bridge the gap…”
I’m curious to check out the local cafe near work at coffee hour today to see how many people are alone, on their phones, taking a break for a $7 hot bean juice. I’m inspired to strike up a conversation with a stranger now, and ask why they visit this coffee shop, what kind of laboring they’re temporarily escaping from, and why they’re spending their precious minutes away from their isolating desk with big screens to continue to be isolated on a tiny screen… but I’m too scared lol. I feel like no matter the cafe, people in the morning and at coffee hour are always giving ‘fuck off’ vibes. It’s like they just want to get in, get their fix, and leave as fast as possible. Avoid eye contact. It’s almost like a gas station, but for people. And I wish it was different. I’d like to talk to people that I don’t work with. But again, scared 😬
Do you strike up conversations with strangers at your local coffee shop?
Me and my husband often hit up a cafe by our apartment to write, but they blast really loud music. It’s hard to hear each other, let alone other people, or even ourselves thinking. They’re usually filled with college kids studying or hanging out in groups. Either way, more fuck off vibes.
But a new dog cafe opened up by my apartment and there’s a whole dog section. The dogs are the ice breaker for the humans. The discussion is usually limited to dogs, but it’s a better vibe than the laboring watering hole. Maybe the step to more connection at cafes is through dogs. We need more dog cafes.
Nicely written. Fully agree that online communities are both a blessing and a curse. Nothing, and I really mean nothing, compares to just spending time with people IRL.
This describes the one thing I appreciate about having to travel a lot for work, the opportunity to just be with and around people without the active need to attend to particular relationships or human concerns.
"Sometimes a solitary ease & comfort can quickly lead to a dance around the edges of self-isolation." Love this stream of consciousness and reflection, Sandra. I've experienced this and learned that I have to push myself to seek moments of company.
...i mean are you telling me that all these years trying to build a tiny diorama i would be able to shrink and live inside of in the year 2044 is purely a pipe dream!...and more specifically my other pipe dream to expand my diorama to include pipe slides for a personal water park is all for naught!...how am I going to ride a hamster like a bronco if not for this daydream!...
Was literally listening to a podcast this morning (in public, out in the park... though with a friend painting together and maybe that's the non-lonely part of it?) and it's an episode from Beautiful/Anonymous called "Secret Internet Relationship" about how this guy just lived in his own internet world and kinda forgot that people IRL exist and the host of the podcast lost it a lil bit with the dude being like PEOPLE ARE REAL THEY ARE OUT THERE. and yeah I do feel like it's so comfortable to live in my own lil private world but that it doesn't always have to be this way / shouldn't be this way too.
also - "how many of those heads floating above blue light screens around me were in an undercurrent of loneliness" MMMMMH chef's kiss for wording
Love the typewriter vibe! Takes me back to middle school, typing my papers on my Mom’s old typewriter.
The typewriting had such a cozy human touch to it and your musings were equally beautiful. A while ago I encountered in a philosophy book the idea of everyone's existence and ability to connect with others is like speaking a language that we can never be fully sure that anyone else truly understands. e.g., The idea that the very words that I'm typing now convey an infinitely specific meaning for me and that I can only hope carries that specificity onward when another reads it. As I read your musings about what living might be like for the lonely, I was reminded of this, and it helped me feel a bit more curious about these kinds of people rather than a feeling that leaned a bit more sad.
Beautifully written, was nice to be brought along for that meandering. Very relatable!
<3 to this typewriting and all the little text quirks that come with using a typewriter.
Sometimes my only daily social interaction is this non-interaction at the coffee shop lol. I like working in the chatter, it allows me to be among people without the energy expenditure.
I recently came across again with the "neologism" (or made-up word) of Sonder, which definition is: "The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one's own, which they are constantly living despite one's personal lack of awareness of it."
I view your essay as an amazing free-flowing, deep-dive on it with an emphasis on loneliness, which is sad when the person is trying to reach out and not connecting, but ok when it is wanted and more like enjoyed solitude. Don't have answers as to how to remedy the former, but definitely think, like you, that writing about it and articulating it will help, as would reaching out uncomfortably when there's a want in decreasing that loneliness.
Loved both all the imperfections in the execution of writing, making it more human, and also the stream of consciousness style, your thinking out quietly really streams and flows very well!
“…It’s a kind of space that offers you to be on your own but not alone; it’s on the threshold of solitude and connectedness, an easy way to bridge the gap…”
I’m curious to check out the local cafe near work at coffee hour today to see how many people are alone, on their phones, taking a break for a $7 hot bean juice. I’m inspired to strike up a conversation with a stranger now, and ask why they visit this coffee shop, what kind of laboring they’re temporarily escaping from, and why they’re spending their precious minutes away from their isolating desk with big screens to continue to be isolated on a tiny screen… but I’m too scared lol. I feel like no matter the cafe, people in the morning and at coffee hour are always giving ‘fuck off’ vibes. It’s like they just want to get in, get their fix, and leave as fast as possible. Avoid eye contact. It’s almost like a gas station, but for people. And I wish it was different. I’d like to talk to people that I don’t work with. But again, scared 😬
Do you strike up conversations with strangers at your local coffee shop?
Me and my husband often hit up a cafe by our apartment to write, but they blast really loud music. It’s hard to hear each other, let alone other people, or even ourselves thinking. They’re usually filled with college kids studying or hanging out in groups. Either way, more fuck off vibes.
But a new dog cafe opened up by my apartment and there’s a whole dog section. The dogs are the ice breaker for the humans. The discussion is usually limited to dogs, but it’s a better vibe than the laboring watering hole. Maybe the step to more connection at cafes is through dogs. We need more dog cafes.
Nicely written. Fully agree that online communities are both a blessing and a curse. Nothing, and I really mean nothing, compares to just spending time with people IRL.
Beautifully said, Sandra. A great call to not miss what’s right in front of us ❤️
https://youtu.be/9EqMmGlTc_w?feature=shared
This describes the one thing I appreciate about having to travel a lot for work, the opportunity to just be with and around people without the active need to attend to particular relationships or human concerns.
Beautiful meandering. Love the typewriter font! :) (or is it a photo of an actually typewritten page?)