I want to deeply know myself. To understand my gradations, comfortably and lovingly sit with my thoughts and emotions, and accept myself fully. A pursuit that hasn’t been easy. The truth is, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel at odds with the cacophony of my mind or my kaleidoscope of emotions. All of which have felt, to me, like an immense burden. How was I ever supposed to embrace, much less
What a profound article Sandra, I feel like it slowly grows on you until it explodes, just like the "molotov cocktail" genius imagery you mention.
It's a very needed article not just for someone that journals or wants to get into it, but for anyone that wants to understand the often ineffable workings of the inner conversation we all have, and the liberation and evolution that writing brings to it.
Even if they're months apart, keep these essays coming!
This whole piece is beautiful. I especially love this passage:
“Each day I fill the pages with my inner landscape to celebrate, scrutinize, and interrogate. I excavate everything. And I find myself with more questions than answers. It's alluring to dig deeply inside myself, ask questions, and make discoveries. There’s something dazzling about how much I don’t know and never will.”
You’re an amazing writer, Sandra. A true artist who paints with words.
Wow, you so beautifully wrote about my own feelings towards journaling.
"In the past, I constantly attempted to write in journals. In rage, pain, confusion, and everything in between. But I rejected so much of myself that even the slightest thought of anyone stumbling upon my journals and discovering anything “negative” I kept bottled up terrified me."
^ this I found particularly relatable. I used to do the same thing! It's only this past year or so that I've been journaling without censoring myself to an unidentified "other" person.
I'm inspired by this description of your journaling practice. A compelling testimony to the benefit of spending time getting to know yourself with courage. I love your comment about your journal being the longest ongoing conversation you've ever had. Most of all I'm uplifted by the commitment to just keep looking, articulating, and observing your own inner workings with such a sincere intention for self-honesty and discovery. I haven't journaled in a LONG time. This may nudge me to explore it again.
Wooowie! What a beautiful essay, I love its final form. so. frekkin. much. 😍 😍 😍
Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what your journaling practice looks like!
This part at the end really inspired me to start journaling: "It’s freeing to take a small step each day towards embracing myself... to sit with and honor what I think and feel. It’s empowering to want and have the ability to confront so many parts of myself when it’s much easier to avoid."
“[...] any evidence of my humanity in the trash”
Wow, this is such a powerful image. It’s such a shame that we sometimes lose sight of how beautiful our humanity is – warts and all.
May I ask what made your attitude and your relationship to journaling change over time? (Sounds like you had to “grow” into it)
Beautiful, Pure and Raw!
I love it, Sandra. Love it!
There were so many stop-and-reflect moments during the reading.
“I invite myself to sit with and honor what I think and feel.” This sentence has made me emotional. I’ve got tears in my eyes.
Looking into ourselves, confronting the emotions and behaviour that bug us and then speaking up about them is the hardest and most rewarding practice.
Thank you for sharing!
Subscribed 🎉
"I invite myself to sit with and honor what I think and feel." Damn, this is so powerful.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Sandra. Your words soothe the soul and inspire me to work through my own kaleidoscope of emotion on the page.
What a profound article Sandra, I feel like it slowly grows on you until it explodes, just like the "molotov cocktail" genius imagery you mention.
It's a very needed article not just for someone that journals or wants to get into it, but for anyone that wants to understand the often ineffable workings of the inner conversation we all have, and the liberation and evolution that writing brings to it.
Even if they're months apart, keep these essays coming!
This whole piece is beautiful. I especially love this passage:
“Each day I fill the pages with my inner landscape to celebrate, scrutinize, and interrogate. I excavate everything. And I find myself with more questions than answers. It's alluring to dig deeply inside myself, ask questions, and make discoveries. There’s something dazzling about how much I don’t know and never will.”
You’re an amazing writer, Sandra. A true artist who paints with words.
Wow, you so beautifully wrote about my own feelings towards journaling.
"In the past, I constantly attempted to write in journals. In rage, pain, confusion, and everything in between. But I rejected so much of myself that even the slightest thought of anyone stumbling upon my journals and discovering anything “negative” I kept bottled up terrified me."
^ this I found particularly relatable. I used to do the same thing! It's only this past year or so that I've been journaling without censoring myself to an unidentified "other" person.
Inspiring, humbling, profound🙏
I'm inspired by this description of your journaling practice. A compelling testimony to the benefit of spending time getting to know yourself with courage. I love your comment about your journal being the longest ongoing conversation you've ever had. Most of all I'm uplifted by the commitment to just keep looking, articulating, and observing your own inner workings with such a sincere intention for self-honesty and discovery. I haven't journaled in a LONG time. This may nudge me to explore it again.
Wooowie! What a beautiful essay, I love its final form. so. frekkin. much. 😍 😍 😍
Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what your journaling practice looks like!
This part at the end really inspired me to start journaling: "It’s freeing to take a small step each day towards embracing myself... to sit with and honor what I think and feel. It’s empowering to want and have the ability to confront so many parts of myself when it’s much easier to avoid."